


M'Naghten Rules

by faithinthepoor



Series: Rizzoli and Isles [5]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-01-03
Packaged: 2017-11-23 13:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/622535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during I'm Your Bogie Man</p>
            </blockquote>





	M'Naghten Rules

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows [Body of Evidence](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621139), [Locard’s Principle](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621144), [Sex Crimes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621154) and [Post-Mortem](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621169)

Everything was working out just as she had orchestrated. She had wanted this outcome for many reasons. When she finally sat down with Agent Dean she honestly felt things were going to be ok. However now that she is on the date she finds it feels completely wrong and all she wants to do is escape. This wasn’t meant to happen. Dean was meant to be safe. He was meant to make her forget about the feelings that complicate her life and frighten her with their intensity. He was meant to make everything normal again. Instead he has made her realise that that is something that is never going to happen. 

This date was meant be the beginning of something lasting and now here she is informing him that she is not ready for a relationship with him. That happens to be perfectly true but the reasons that she lists are false. It’s not his fault that she doesn’t feel anything for him and she’s generous to believe that he doesn’t need to learn that particular fact. She tells him that she is not ready for someone who would care about her too much and she hopes that in doing so she has allowed them both to save face.

She isn’t lying; she really isn’t ready for a relationship like that. It was being terrified of someone caring too much that led her down this path in the first place. Her actions had seemed so sensible at the time and she is mad at Dean for not being able to help her fulfil her plan. He was meant to save her and yet all a date with him has done is force her to accept that it might be too late to be saved.

In an effort to be absolutely sure that she can’t progress things with Dean she leans in and kisses him. The kiss isn’t unpleasant. Dean’s technique can’t be faulted. He builds momentum nicely and she doesn’t feel like he trying to swallow her head or remove her tonsils with his tongue. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this kiss and yet it doesn’t make her feel anything. She feels distant and numb right up until the point that someone else’s image pops into her brain and then she feels aroused and guilty.

She’s pretty sure that she can convince herself that this is all Dean’s fault and if that fails she knows someone else who is in line to take the fall. The obvious person to blame would be Hoyt but she refuses to blame him. She will not give him that much power. She prefers to see him as a catalyst and that his behaviour only served to speed up a reaction that was already in progress. If she can’t blame Dean, and it does seem just a little unfair to blame someone whose only crime is being inadequate, she will not be blaming Hoyt. As far as Jane is concerned the blame will fall on Maura.

Maura’s crimes are as unintentional as Dean’s but they are far more damning. Jane is meant to be the strong one, she is the gun toting, no-nonsense cop, she is not meant to need anyone to protect her - especially not anyone as soft and fragile as Maura. The role of damsel in distress is not one that comes easily to her; it goes against everything that she believes in. She sees herself as a self-rescuing princess and in her world there is no need for a knight in shining armour. At least she can take a small amount of comfort from the fact that her fairytale prince is far from conventional. This particular knight is not a squared jawed man on a white horse but rather a woman with hair that would make Rapunzel jealous and whose stead of choice is hand crafted Italian footwear. 

As much as Jane hated having to be watched over by her peers she can recognise that it was a necessary action. Under different circumstances she would have willingly performed similar detail for them. However powerless the surveillance made her feel there is no getting around the fact that cops protect cops. They would take a bullet for her just as she would for them. It’s part of the job and they all signed up for this. Maura signed up for medical school and a life in sterile laboratories and Jane couldn’t handle the fact that she was bringing danger into Maura’s life. It made her feel like she was muddying something pristine, damaging something sacred.

She would do anything to keep Maura in a place where being unprepared for a biochemistry exam counts as a legitimate nightmare. The idea of Maura holding a gun and preparing to guard her while she slept terrified Jane and it’s part of the reason that she was so willing to accept Dean’s advances. The other reason relates to exactly the same moment but is far more selfish. Maura looked unbelievably hot with that gun and touching her as she taught her how to use it felt right and good. Dean was meant to make all of that go away, to rescue Jane from herself and from feelings that simply cannot be. She’s still uncomfortable with the way she feels about Maura but she’s much more uncomfortable with the possible outcome should anyone learn how deeply she cares for the doctor. In her world Hoyt is not the only monster to go boo in the dark and Jane was determined to not allow Maura to become a target. 

Dean seemed to appear at just the right time. In a way it seemed like a sign. He’s trained to fight monsters and his world isn’t as rose tinted as Maura’s. Unlike Maura he doesn’t need to be saved from Jane. She has to accept that she doesn’t get to control her feelings. However suitable and pragmatic Dean might be Jane can’t bring herself to want him. Dean is inextricably linked with Hoyt in her head but she suspects that his association with Hoyt is simply a cofounder and that the real problem is that he just can’t compete with Maura.

Now that her plan to use Dean as a human shield has failed spectacularly she has some major regrets about what happened the night that Maura was on guard duty. In retrospect she should not have gone to bed, at least not alone, she should have made the cavalry stay outside while she had her way with Maura. Her minds swims with images of the things she could have done to Maura that night. The threat of death is one hell of an aphrodisiac but it is not half as powerful as the sight of Maura Isles with a gun in her hand. She has no idea where she found the self-restraint she utilised that night but she hopes she is never cursed with that affliction again.

When her so called date with Dean had ended she had been sure that she needed to see Maura but now that Maura has let her through the door she has no idea what to say.

“How did things go with Dean?”

“You sound a little angry.”

“No it’s fine. You are allowed to see whomever you want.”

“I want to see you.”

“I can’t help feeling that’s only because things didn’t go the way that you had hoped tonight.”

“I think he would tell you that things went reasonably well right up until I told him that I couldn’t see him any more.”

“You did?”

“Yes but in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you that I then kissed him.”

“Now I do feel a little angry.”

“If Bass was an attack turtle would I need to fear for my safety right now?”

“Bass is a tortoise. He is also a gentle spirit.”

“So I’m safe then?”

“I’m not going to hurt you but forgive me if I’m not over the moon about the prospect of being the person you come crawling back to when your date doesn’t work out.”

“It’s not like that. I tried to use him as a distraction but it turns out that the way I feel about you is too strong to be ignored.”

“If how you feel is such a hassle Jane then you don’t have to spend time with me. No-one is forcing you to do anything.”

“I made a mistake but that’s no reason for you to start acting like a martyr.”

“Because clearly martyrdom is an area that you have the monopoly on.”

“Well if the stigmata fit,” Jane states holding up her hands.

Maura instantly softens, “Oh god.” She steps towards Jane and takes her palms into her hands. She then raises Jane’s hands to her lips and kisses the scars. “We shouldn’t let Hoyt do this sort of thing to us.”

Jane takes advantage of their joined hands and pulls Maura over to the couch. She stares down at their fingers, “We may not like it but we have to accept that he is real and he is not going anywhere.”

“That might be true but if you focus on him all the time you let him win.”

“How can I not? Hoyt’s obsession with me nearly got my brother killed.”

“Frankie would never blame you for that.”

“If the tables were turned I’m pretty sure that I would be blaming him.”

“Yes but Frankie is a better person than you are.”

“Hey,” she playfully swats at Maura, “that’s just not nice.”

“Well I guess you can be forgiven. I imagine that having a serial killer fixated on you takes its toll.”

“You sound almost jealous.”

“I’m sure that I’m intriguing enough to warrant the undivided attention of a psychopath.”

“Maybe one day, if you’re very good, you'll get a serial killer of your very own.”

“Maybe I'll be one.”

“Maura you are not like that.”

Isles looks away, “You don’t know that. I think I liked holding that gun and feeling bad ass a little too much.”

“Sweetie I’m not an expert but I’m relatively sure that most sociopaths don’t get started because they think they may look hot with a gun.”

“I didn’t say I looked hot.”

“You didn’t see you,” Jane runs a finger up Maura’s arm

“Stop flirting. I’m trying to have a serious conversation.”

“Can’t we do both?”

“Jane this is something that I really worry about.”

“You don’t need to worry. If anyone should be worried about being like Hoyt it should be me.”

“From what I understand your childhood was appropriately nurturing and your social development was not aberrant. Statistically speaking it is highly unlikely that you would become a serial killer.”

“You may have dissected a frog or two and have spent a lot of time alone but I’m the one who has killed people.”

“You’ve done that to protect people.”

“It doesn’t make them any less dead.”

“Ane yet I’m the one Hoyt said that I was just like him.”

“I’m the one that he’s obsessed with. Don’t you think that Hoyt would only be that interested in someone who he thought was a reflection of himself?”

“That does stand to reason. He is an extreme narcissist who lacks all empathy, he only views the world as it relates to him.”

“So that’s settled. If anyone here has serial killer potential it is me.”

“Why are you competing with me over this?”

“Because I know what he said hurt you but I want you to use that big brain of yours to realise how ludicrous it is to think that you could turn out like him.”

“You can’t know that. I don’t know that.”

“I know that I am not totally objective but I have to believe that I couldn’t feel the things I do for you if you were capable of such evil.”

“Jane,” Maura sighs, “I really don’t get how you can say such things about me right after you have been on a date with the fed.”

“I know you don’t think that my life should revolve around Hoyt but it’s been kinda hard not to consider him lately.”

“I don’t quite get where you are going with this.”

“Hoyt kills couples. I could never live with myself if I let anything happen to you. I guess I thought if I was with Dean I could somehow keep you safe.”

“You are aware that thinking borders on psychotic aren’t you?”

“I know it’s crazy and now I realise that it’s pointless.”

“In what way?”

“Attraction can’t be manufactured and I can’t change the fact that you and I feel inevitable.”

“You make it sound like some sort of virulent disease.”

She squeezes Maura’s hand, “I meant it only in the sense that what I feel is too intense to fight.”

The smile that illuminates Maura’s face almost makes her forget about everything she has been through lately, “You are dancing close to being completely forgiven but I’ll have you know that you still need to be punished. You are not going to get to have sex with me tonight.”

“Is that a punishment that you hand out often?” Jane can’t help but be amused that Maura has managed to go from being worried that she could be a soulless killer to thinking that she is so good at sex that it can be considered a reward. Maura is definitely a woman with a complicated mind.

“Only on special occasions.”

“It’s for the best anyway. I don’t like the idea of Hoyt having been on the scene the first time we have sex.”

“You really need to stop relating everything to him.”

“It’s just that he makes me feel damaged. Because of him my organs are broken; he has turned my hands into something bad.”

Maura kisses Jane’s scars again but this time her lips linger, “I promise you that we will do things that make you feel that your hands are something good.”

Her mind feels as though it is going to explode and is flooded with images more pornographic than anything Frankie ever managed to hide under his mattress, “I will look forward to that.”

“As well you should. I have it on good authority that I am one impressive chick.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Korsak told me that you said it?”

“Korsak has a big mouth.”

“I like you talking about me in glowing terms.”

“Korsak talks about you too.”

“I already know that he thinks I’m attractive.”

“Well he does says that but I was referring to the fact that he told me you were quite forceful when he and Frost where making noise and you thought I might wake up.”

“I take my duties very seriously.”

“From what I hear you were like a ferocious mother bear. I wish I’d seen it.”

“People don’t get to mess with my girl.”

“I’m your girl?”

“I hoping that you will be.”

“I don’t think you need to hope anymore. Come here,” she says as she draws Maura in for a hug. 

As Maura wraps her arms around Jane the detective is unable to fight the overwhelming feeling that everything is alright with the world. It makes her feel like a naïve adolescent but right now that seems preferable to being a jaded and frightened adult. She feels Maura dust kisses across her collar bone and then whisper, “I’m truly glad that you are here.” Jane pulls Maura closer and strokes her hair and is struck by the realisation that if things had have gone differently Maura would never have told her she was unhappy about her spending time with Dean. It’s entirely possible that Maura may never have learnt to ask for what she needs and whatever happens Jane is determined to do her best to make sure Maura never needs to ask for anything again.


End file.
